Adoption Books: Talking to Kids About Adoption

Editor's Picks

What to say, when to say it, how much to say... these are the most common questions parents ask about talking to their children about adoption. Many of our children have difficult histories; some are full of questions; some want to ask but can’t verbalize the questions; some are afraid to ask. These books can help.

1) Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child
By Betsy Keefer and Jayne E. Schooler. This is a clearly written, excellent book dealing with talking about painful truths, why it’s necessary to talk about them, and how to help your child build on the knowledge.

2) Making Sense of Adoption: A Parent’s Guide
By Lois Ruskai Melina. The strength of this book lies in the sample dialogs that span the years from young child to teen, addressing questions that may arise at various ages. It also touches on the issues of talking to others outside the family, and keeping a balance between talking too much or too frequently, and not talking enough.

3) Talking To Your Child About Adoption
This little (28 page) booklet packs a powerful message. Author Patricia M. Dorner, M.A., L.P.C., offers age-specific insight, information, and suggestions to parents of adopted children from infancy through the teen years. Also available in Spanish. A great gift idea for family and friends.

4) Talking With Young Children About Adoption
By Mary Watkins, Susan Fisher (Contributor). Great suggestions for talking with young children (ages 3-7) about adoption at various stages. The book presents a variety of scenarios including questions, how children may react to the answers, and problem indicators.

5) Raising the Rainbow Generation
By Darlene Powell Hopson, Derek S. Hopson, Thomas Clavin. Subtitled "Teaching Your Children to Be Successful in a Multicultural Society", this is not an adoption-specific book but addresses an issue faced by many of our families: prejudice. The books suggests words and concepts children can understand at various ages.